Let us talk about sex because it turns out to be the most crucial part of cultivating a healthy and satisfactory sex life. Some people feel it at ease and very much comfortable in talking about sex while others would rather try avoiding the topic as easily as they can. The fact here is, people who are able to talk about their sexual issues can absolutely lead to a fulfilling, satisfactory and enjoyable sex life with a greater level of emotional and physical intimacy between the couples. Only 9% of couples who are not at ease in talking openly about sex with their partners say that they are happy in their intimate life and sexually satisfied.
Generally when partners talk about their sexual needs, wants and desires, their conversations would go in a different direction and are often indirect, vague and left unresolved. Typically both partners are in a hurry to finish the conversation hoping that their partner will understand their expectations without saying a word. The less direct you are while saying what you want, the less likely it is that you get it.
Talking about sex with your partners is the most powerful way to deepen the connection and intimacy with your partner. But when the communication is full of stress and criticisms, then frustration, ambiguity and hurting of feelings will follow. Thus, friendship outside the bedroom is must for a passionate and healthy sex life. It is common for couples to struggle in finding right words and topics when they express their feelings about sex. Therefore, we have compiled few points that can help you work through your fears and can lead to a healthy sex life with your partner.
Start Small, Go Slow And Be Patient
Talking about sexual lives, expectations and opinions with your partner can be uncomfortable. Due to our upbringing and hammering us about sex being a taboo, many of us have shamed being sexual connected to someone or enjoying sex and talking much less about our needs and desires. If you and your partner feel the same way, start your conversation small and slow. Avoid blaming or criticizing and focus on what makes your sex life more fulfilling. Adding judgment or criticism can worsen the insecurities. Try sharing the positive needs that open up new ways of loving each other. Think about the topics regarding sex that makes you feel comfortable and easier to talk. Maybe you are not comfortable talking about your desires and fantasies, maybe asking them when their sex life was the best or what they find stressful or happy and how it affects their life and if any help that you can offer. Whatever their response is and wherever you land, go with the flow and see where the conversation goes, try making it intimate slowly when you feel right.
Be Kind And Positive And Focus On Intimacy
The key to talking about sex is to be polite and do not criticize. If you do, the conversation will not lead anywhere and will end faster than a quickie. Start the topics with a kind and polite tone. Make your partner feel that you want them but this is what I expect and like. Do not criticize him or her. That would lead to a negative relationship. Many of us feel embarrassed about our body image or about our performance during sex. Adding criticisms to the mix of conversations would only worsen the topic and increase the insecurities. Sharing the issues in a positive way will lead to a loving path for each other. It would also increase the intimacy between the two. Find the ways in which you can build a more intimate relationship and feel more connected beyond sexual intercourse. Affection and intimacy are as important as frequency in sex life
Do Not Take It Personally And Become Accommodating
Do not take any denials personally. This sounds a little bit of counter intuitive because sex involves both of you equally but a large part of what your partner feels while having sex or what turns your partner off does not depend on your body image or performance. It entirely is not about you. Sex drive is largely blocked by stress, psychological problems, feelings of shame and so on. If your partner denies to have sex and is not in mood of romance does not mean he or she does not find you attractive any more. Nor does it mean that your lovemaking lacks something. Try accommodating your partner's opinion. Understand and communicate what feels good, safe and loving. Making accommodations and respecting each other's opinions can lead to a pleasurable experience for both the partners.
Take A Weekend Off With Your Partner
According to a study, 81% people felt better after returning for a vacation, 46% people felt more relaxed, 42% people were happier, 35% people reported being less stressed and most importantly 6% people said that they had a better and higher sex drives after their trip. People tend to be more uninhibited while they are out on a vacation and therefore feel more free and comfortable saying or doing things that they might not share while they are at home. A romantic vacation might open the doors for romantic sex talks because you are out of your element and might feel a bit brave, more excited and little worried about how your partner will receive and comprehend.
The solution to enhancing the romance inside and outside the bedroom is to learn the art of talking and explaining things to your partner about sex. You should skip the surprises and be on the same page. Talk about what you might enjoy, the fantasies, desires and wants that you have. Express one another about the fears, concerns, expectations and be honest of what you feel. Share your innermost feelings regarding your sex life and help your partner feel that he or she is safe enough to do the same thing. Learning to communicate with each other about whatever is in your mind and heart will enhance the sexual experience for both of you.